Welcome to another episode of the balance growth show of your host. Dr. Travis Parry today have a special guest Muhammad Ali Rafi and he has is a highly respected internist and psychiatrist after his experience though with a government prosecution and being found not guilty is currently mending his relationship with his family and building his business back to To glory and he just released his book. Dr. Not guilty Muhammad. Welcome to the show

Thank you very much for having me. I am delighted to be talking to your audience about my experience and on the back to mending relationship with family.

Yeah, for sure. I think you as we got talking and We're discussing this potential podcast, know, what really stuck out to me is how you and your wife have weathered this ordeal But let's talk about the ordeal. Let's talk about how you got here. I got in this situation a little bit about your background and and then we'll kind of jump right into your story

Sure, sure. Thank you. Thank you for having me and allowing me this opportunity to talk to your audience. So, by background, my family is originally from Syria. We're from Aleppo, Syria, which is one of the oldest continuously inhabited city in history. Aleppo is in the northern part of Syria. I am a first-generation immigrant and I completed my

medical training at the University of Virginia and trained in internal medicine and psychiatry in the late 90s. I also did significant research in psychiatry. I was actually at the National Institute of Mental Health in Bethesda, Maryland for three years prior to relocating to Pennsylvania around 2006. And I've been in Pennsylvania now almost for 20 years.

I have been married to my better half, Dr. Duhasabuni, who's an obstetrician and gynecologist for close now to 24 years. We have three beautiful children. Nader is our oldest, Nabil is the middle one, and Zaid is the youngest. Nader is 22, Nabil is 20, and Zaid is 12.

I met my wife while I was visiting in Syria in 2002 and basically we hit it off immediately. And she was my and still my sister's best friend. We had met in the year 2000 and then met again in 2001. And we were actually planning to

get married in 2001 and unfortunately 9-11 happened and put everything on hold but we ultimately got married in August 2002 and almost 24 years now since we've been married. She moved here to the United States from Syria and she's a tough one and she actually

in 2007 started her residency in obstetrics and gynecology. And she commuted for four years. She commuted an hour and a half each way from Pennsylvania to where she did her residency at St. Joseph Hospital in Paterson, New Jersey. So we started our marriage with a very strong bond and relationship. And we...

grew together stronger because during that four years she was she was busy. She was gone 120 hours a week. So most of the time she would come home and just rest and basically see us and see the kids. It was myself and my two kids. And I was working full-time as an attending psychiatrist at a local hospital and she was doing her residency full-time and we had some help but very little little family help.

But that made our marriage much, much stronger. That cemented our relationship and prepared us like Noah built the ark for the great flood that came in 2022. I grew my practice. I started my practice, Blue Mountain Psychiatry, in 2012.

And I was on the cutting edge of psychiatry. did telemedicine, telehealth when nobody was doing telehealth. I had started doing telehealth in 2006. And when I built my practice, I expanded to doing telehealth services in nursing homes, which is what got me into trouble with the government who was just looking for a fall guy after COVID and after telehealth exploded, everybody was doing telehealth.

They needed a fall person to teach a lesson that basically that you need to do telehealth services very cautiously. But I had done that very cautiously. And unfortunately, I became the target of the government. And in 2022, I was criminally indicted by the United States government. And it was it was a devastating experience.

The press releases were out there. Lehigh Valley psychiatrist stole from Medicare. And that was very devastating for myself as a pillar of the community, as a psychiatrist, as a practicing psychiatrist. It was devastating for myself as a spiritual and religious person. I'm Muslim. I believe in God. And I believe in doing the right thing. I've never stolen anything in my life.

and for the government of the United States to put out a press release that you stole from Medicare. That was devastating. It's a big blow to my personality, it's a big blow to my faith, but my faith in God is strong. And it was a big blow to my relationship with my family because in the press release they said, if convicted, he could spend 40 years in jail.

And at that time I was 50 and that meant that basically that's it. That would be the end of my life. I had two, three beautiful kids that were growing and they were in college and my beautiful wife. that was basically, that was almost two years of hell. And I decided that I wanted to go to trial. I decided that I...

I'm going to keep my faith in God and that I was going to be exonerated. And I went to trial and through divine providence and not just divine providence, divine intervention and divine redirection, things that happened during the trial, the jury saw what happened and came back in two hours and found me not guilty on all charges.

And I'm going to tell that story. I'm going to have a book coming out, Dr. Not Guilty. And I'm going to be telling that story of what happened to me and how I was exonerated and to tell people how to keep faith even in the standing for the Goliath of the United States government. But if you believe in the Lord, you're going to be saved.

You know, I really appreciate that message. And there have been times where, you know, probably all of us have been falsely accused of something to some point in our life. but this takes it to a whole new level where, know, you've got the, you know, a life sentence essentially on your hands. it would strip you away from, from, know, providing for your family and spending time rest of your life with them.

What a horrible ordeal and I'm so happy you're here to talk about it as a free man. You went through a lot. I really want to discuss because I know you help a lot of couples and you help individuals with their relationships and with their mental health. Let's talk about how you and your wife have been able to weather this storm together.

and you know some some some strengths based Recommendations on how couples can you know get to this point? You guys have have have really done an amazing job together And I know there there are a lot of couples who couldn't withstand What's what's happened because their their marriage maybe isn't built on And god and and and really important principles that we'll be able to discuss. But yeah, let's let's dive into that

How did you guys survive this?

I it was a lot of dark days. I mean, I don't want to give the impression that it was all rosy and that we were just hugging and saying that this is going to go well. We're both very spiritual and we have a strong belief in God. It was, as I said, it was the building of the foundation of the relationship. We were...

very compatible in terms of our families. So just going back to the roots, because it's a foundation, it's a tree that if you're going to build a building that's going to withstand a hurricane, basically you have to start with a very strong foundation. So our compatibility, the fact that we were compatible, we actually had a good relationship when we were engaged. We were engaged for about a year and a half.

and we got to know each other and decided whether we were a good couple. So this wasn't, I know people from the Middle East and other parts of the world that have arranged marriages. So this was like a, I would call this semi-arranged, but it was still with us getting to know each other and having a chance to say, no, no, that's not a good fit or we're a good fit. So I think starting with that, that was...

That was step one in terms of our relationship. I knew she wanted to do residency. I was supportive of that 100%. She knew my career and the things that I was going to do. And we had a very positive relationship from the beginning. We understood each other. We understood our needs and wants and often prayed together.

So that was a very strong relationship between us. despite the fact that I'm somebody from the Middle East, I participated in raising the kids. So after we got married for about four years, she was at home raising the kids. But then for about four years where she was doing her residency, she was completely gone. I was...

almost as if I was a single dad. And she would come in after she finishes work, she would come in and she would spend maybe half an hour, an hour with us, and then she goes to sleep and then wakes up and repeat again for about four years. But we survived that. I think it made us stronger as a couple because we learned how to weather difficult situations. this...

Two years where I was under indictment and was facing jail was very similar and reminiscent to that time where I was almost a single dad with two kids ages four and two, our oldest now. And basically we raised those kids together for about four years prior to her finishing her residency. But I think that that laid the foundation

for a very positive relationship. We learned how to carve time to spend together and to keep that strong relationship together. So even if we had a short amount of time to be together, but we learned how to keep that relationship alive with prayer and along with trying to understand each other and trying to continue our connection together.

And so when she finished her residency, that was our opportunity to continue to cement our relationship. But as with every relationship, I mean, we've had struggles with our relationship. We had ups and downs and we had difficulties, but communication is very, important. think that was something that kept us together, is that we had open communication always. And the fact that we maintain that communication through our relationship with God.

Yeah, you mentioned some really important things there. the continual connection. know a lot of researchers call these, traditions, right? Or, you know, making time for each other throughout the day or connecting when you get home from work, like there's, there's a lot of things that, that look like connection. What would be, what would be something, that you have seen works with couples, maybe even in your own marriage, that would be an example of.

making that connection. What does that look like?

So just a practical tip, I mean we, myself and my wife, are two busy doctors, two busy professionals, but we carve at least three hours every week where we say we have to go out on a date to keep our relationship alive. We have to devote time no matter what's going on, no matter what demands from the kids or anything. This is mom and dad's date.

We go out, we have fun, we spend these three hours together, kind of uninterrupted. We actually turn off our phones. There's no phones, so it's just me and her. And we go out to dinner and we walk around town. We spend a nice three hours together to kind of continue that relationship because unless you have that, unless you do a con...

a continuation of a relationship. When the hurricane comes, there's not going to be any foundation for you to lean on or lean on each other in terms of kind of facing the calamities that are coming.

Yeah, you know, I talk about this all the time with my clients like make connection consistent have these traditions have these daily routines. Very early on my wife and I were in a marriage prep class and which most people just they don't they don't do you know, we focus on the wedding and not the preparation of the actual union and but I remember his advice his advice to us was very clear husbands when you come home greet your wife

seek her out wives when you return, if you're gone from the home, you know, throughout, know, throughout the day, whatever, and your husband is there, like seek each other out, make sure you create that connection. you know, this was never really, I guess it was important just cause it was, you know, something we were told, but, you know, it never really hit me until my father passed away very suddenly. And the last thing that you remember when somebody dies,

really quick or you know maybe even it's been a prolonged period of time but a really sudden death you remember what's the last thing I said? What's the last thing we did? How did I connect? And you know that's a father-son relationship but I think about my wife sometimes like man what was the last thing I said? What was the last thing we did? And man I hope it's you know connecting but then when you come home from a day and you're stressed or you know you guys are both working and you're both working there and you're both needing to make that

Connection a priority. I love that. That's awesome. The second piece you talked about I want to highlight is it's connection with God How has your connection with God helped your union?

So we both have very spiritual families. I I wouldn't call us very strictly religious, but very spiritual. We do our prayers, we do our daily prayers, and we fast, and we went to pilgrimage together. So in 2015, myself and my wife, we went to pilgrimage to Mecca, which is one of the pillars of Islam, religion.

We also look up to our parents. So my mom and dad, my dad is 85 turning 86, my mom is 80. And they've been married for almost 60 years. And her mom and dad, they're advanced in age. Her dad is 70, her mom is 65. And they've been almost married now for 50 years. And so basically,

It's looking up to the parents and sometimes I remember that when she makes comments, every couple has, sometimes when they get upset at each other, there's a tit and tat, even as good as the relationship is, and she would remind me, it's like, well, look at your parents and look at my parents. They just snip at each other all day.

And they still live together. And we laugh at it because, I mean, we may get mad at each other, but then it's gone in an hour and we settle. And she gives me the example about my family. Well, look, your mom and dad, just, all the time at each other all day long. And look at my parents, they're just...

upset at each other all the time, but then they stay together and they're happy and they continue. And you have to learn how to put up with each other. And unfortunately, in this day and age, nobody puts up with anybody or with anything anymore. everybody just abandons ship very quickly. Imagine if Noah had abandoned the ark, we would not be here.

No, and I agree like so what I what I found in a lot of the research out there is that couples that had shared values Did way better in their relationship and individually they were happier It wasn't just that they were giving altered relationship and they they left their individual identity, but they they also had great, you know psychological happiness and stronger financial stability Because they had shared values in the top

shared value with shared religion Not necessarily Of the same of the same religion, you know, it wasn't just like hey, yes check the box catholic lutheran, whatever No, it was that they had shared religious values The second only to that was parenting like how how well they thought they did parenting together? Which you know, that's a great, you know a segue to talk about, you know kids and challenges and life but

But I want to stick to this for just a second and really focus in on, you know, it's it's not just the doing it's not just going to the church. It's not just doing the outside of the home things. It really is what you believe, how you believe it. And obviously my my audience is is faith based and a lot of Christian dads are out there. And while we're talking and we don't share the exact same religion, this isn't a religious podcast, but

Essentially we can understand that if we share those religious values with each other with our spouse that that is going to create a really strong bond. And I believe that God loves everyone and he wants us to be successful in our marriage. So, let's talk about, cause you mentioned this before you talked about, you know, you and your wife struggling through this really, really hard time. Not most of us aren't going to be indicted, by the government.

But there are going to be challenges in our marriage period end of story exclamation point And there are a lot of challenges. I write about in my book about financial struggles, you know Burnout at work stress children on and on What you know without getting into let's say, you know the details of various challenges because they're out there if you want to elaborate that's fine But what would you say to couples who are facing a challenge right now?

they're going through something hard. What advice would you give to them to help them stay the path, to stay strong and to be able to make it through?

I think maintaining faith is one of the most important things. Faith in God that things are going to be okay. Funny that you talked about financial challenges. So interestingly, even after the indictment and after I went to trial, there were still some financial challenges.

the defense of the charges cost a lot of money. And the government is not forgiving either. basically after the trial, the government in its wisdom decided to take a large amount of money out of our accounts.

lawfully or unlawfully, we ultimately gained it back. that was, so I was done with trial and then all of a sudden we lose a large amount of money, whether it was appropriate or inappropriate. basically, so it was somebody who was trying to recover and get up and they're hit on the head again. But, and that was, I felt that was even

a harder struggle than the first one. Basically because we had just, we're trying to mend that relationship and then it's like you're trying to get up again and you get hit on the head again and you're down again. you know, our faith in the fact that money is, basically money is a transitional object. We're not gonna take it with us.

We reminded ourselves with when we went to pilgrimage to Mecca and were standing on the wall and praying to God. And you know when we go to pilgrimage the men are wearing just white garbs basically similar to what you get buried in just to remind you that basically when you die there's no pockets that you take money in basically you're just you're going to go out of this world with nothing.

you came with nothing and you're going to go out of this world with nothing and that money is replaceable and that we were both doctors and we going to be able to replace it. But we stood together and we kept our faith together and that financial problem actually resolved itself very nicely in our favor. Even though we got upset and that was another test of our marriage and the financial problem got...

got resolved very nicely in our favor.

You know, the fact that you're turning toward each other. Dr. Gottman talks a lot about this. I don't know if you're familiar with John Gottman's work, you know, yeah. Great guy. He's a Jew and he's very outspoken about his religious beliefs, but he's also very open to all sorts of couples and their belief systems. And what I've loved about his research is he's a researcher's researcher. He understands his craft and

He is well, well known, in the research world, but most people know John Gray, who published the book men are from Mars. Women are from Venus, not research-based at all. And quite honestly has done some damage to relationships, but the other John John Kotman, he, he is a fantastic researcher. has a love lab up in Washington where he brings couples in and examines their relationship. And what he found is when couples were, were, were saddled with some sort of stressor.

He would look at their heart rate, how fidgety they were in their seats, and all sorts of tests of physical and emotional trauma there. And he found that when couples were dealing with a challenge, the ones that physically, emotionally, verbally turned toward each other to try and gain strength from each other were able to make it through. But the ones who blamed each other and turned away physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually,

From their spouse and he could predict that they would end divorce 97 percent of the time. It was quite fascinating So what i'm hearing from you is that yeah, you guys you leaned on each other and you made it through I know that you know I I coach couples all the time about their money differences and helping them get on the same page My wife and I have been through early on in our marriage, you know some financial difficulties that that almost took our home and

We were in a really, really tough time. I remember just being able to lean on her and her on me for a little bit till we made it through. And quite honestly, looking back, so many people, 2009, 2010, were upside down in their home and just struggled with the economy. we made it out better than before. And quite honestly, as Dave Ramsey says all the time, better than I deserve.

We learned a lot, but I appreciate that advice. know, obviously your book, let's talk a little bit about your book. Your book details this story of how you fought this David, you know, and Goliath type story of you. That's right. That's right. That's what I figure, man. Like, you know, we've been talking about how you knew your wife had been great to stand together.

Ahmed Ali and Goliath.

and how difficult this was, but talk to us a little bit about the book and what else we can expect to see or hear, you know, as we read through that about the stories of faith and resilience.

So one of the stories that I tell in the book, and every time I recall the story, just don't know how my family were able to go through this. So I learned in June 2022, I'd learned that there was an investigation.

through my lawyer and that the government had decided to indict me. The indictment didn't come until November, but they had made the decision that there was going to be an indictment and that I was going to be facing criminal charges. And I had to sit down my kids, my three boys. Our oldest at that time was in his second year of college.

The middle child was just finishing high school and the youngest was 10. So imagine having to sit down with your three kids and your wife and tell them listen, dad may go away for the rest of his life and imagine just that the relationship with your kids, how they're crying, how they're dealing with this.

It's one thing for children to lose their parents abruptly, but it's another thing for them to suffer and be told that daddy may go away. And those are usually more difficult than just kind of the sudden death. But basically we sat down together, we prayed together, my entire family we prayed together and

They did okay with that news. So that was the 30th of June, 2022. And the next few days was going to be the 4th of July weekend. And on Monday, Monday was actually the 4th of July, 2022, two o'clock in the morning, the phone rings in my house.

And I've heard, I've had heard from my attorney, you know, the government has it for you. They're going to send, they're going to send people after you. They're going to send, they're going to send police officers and dogs and helicopters and SWAT teams just to get you when this is going to come down. And so I answer the phone, everybody, the phone rings with very loudly and everybody in the house wakes up. They're thinking that they're coming for their dad.

And so I pick up the phone and on the phone a person says, well, is this Dr. Rafai? And I said, yes, this is Dr. Rafai. He says, is Lieutenant Nichols from the Easton Police Department SWAT team. And I said, my Lord, they are coming for us. There, that's it. This is it. This is it. And so I said, Lieutenant,

Lieutenant, have no weapons at home. We are unarmed. We're going to come out. I have my children here. We have no weapons. We are unarmed. And we're going to come out. And the lieutenant answered back and said, no, no, Dr. Refai. No, there's nothing going on. We need you. There's one of your patients is having a psychiatric emergency. And he's hauled up in his apartment. He's a veteran.

They're saying there's a lot of weapons and he said he somebody said he wanted to commit suicide and we've surrounded his apartments and we've cornered off several city blocks and everybody's sheltering in place and he said he's not coming back out until he talks to Dr. Raffaei. So would you talk to him?

wow.

So I am thinking, okay, the government is coming after me. They sent the SWAT team to arrest Dr. Refai, and the message from the Lord is, no, no, they need you. So from two o'clock to four o'clock in the morning, I talked to this veteran who's my patient. His first name is Chris.

And ultimately after two hours, this is two hours Monday, July 4th, 2022, between two o'clock in the morning and four o'clock in the morning, I talked to Chris. Even though in my heart I was being indicted, I was going to jail, I talked to him as if my life depended on it. And I ultimately convinced him to come out with that.

without killing himself, without shooting himself, without shooting anybody else. Chris was not charged with any crime from the police. They dealt with it as a mental health emergency. And he actually ended up being hospitalized for a few weeks and he recovered nicely. And he actually established a veteran support group. Now fast forward to my trial.

In May of 2024, unbeknownst to me, my attorney, through my family, had asked Chris to come and testify on my behalf as a character witness to the jury. And to my surprise, Chris showed up in his military uniform and testified for about 30 minutes.

And he told, I had forgotten, he told the jury the details of what we talked about that morning between two o'clock and four o'clock in the morning. He told them everything. He says, I didn't know that this doctor, when he was talking to me, he was facing legal problems and he was going to go to jail. But he talked to me, he saved my life. We prayed together. And at the end of his testimony, he looked at the, at the jury and he told them, release him.

release him and he started yelling and by God's grace release him. And so the jury came back in two hours and found me not guilty. So that story, it's in my book, but I keep it there to kind of just how providence, just the Lord plays in mysterious ways.

And my family put up with this, and we came out stronger.

Yeah, and you know, this is a case about resilience a case of trusting in god a case in relying on each other as spouses and a case of a family that loves you and supports you and I'm sure they've been through some really hard things. I can't imagine myself but to receive that phone call and thinking it's for you And to to then go, you know go help someone else in need. I can't think of a more

quite honestly, God-like thing to do. So, Mohammed, this has been a pleasure to get to know you, to hear your stories, to hear how you can help individuals and how you have been a help and how God has helped you and how your family surrounded you and supported you. I love these concepts. We could talk about them ad nauseum, but I hope people will go and read your book. Where can they find it? How can they get a hold of a copy of your book?

The book is on Amazon, Doctor Not Guilty. It is the only book that's ever been published with the title Doctor Not Guilty. So look it up on Amazon. It's available for purchase.

Get your copy of doctor not guilty I think there's a lot of inspiration we all can gain from your story from what you do Thank you for what you do. Thank you for helping those in need Thank you for standing for true principles and it's a pleasure to be able to interview you on our show anything that you want to leave with listeners any last tidbits or thoughts or You know ideas that you feel inspired to do so

People should never lose hope. God is great. God is going to save us and people should always keep the faith. I actually had asked, I talked to my dad early on today and I said, I'm going to do this podcast and what should I give people the message of hope? And he said, just remember, we taught you, there's a very

very famous Judeo-Christian, even Islamic story of a farmer and this farmer is planting plants and Judgment Day happens. Judgment Day happens and he has a plant in his hand ready to plant it and the Lord tells him to plant it even though it's Judgment Day, everything is going to end. Right. But he plants that plant.

So never lose hope, even Judgment Day is happening. You plant that plant because God is great and He's going to save us.

Appreciate this. Thank you for being on the show because if you've loved this as much as I have please check out his book doctor not guilty Thank You Mohammed. Thank you for listening and remember You know until you know We have a perfect world, right? We're all Struggling we all have challenges. We all have these things in our lives in our marriage and to to stay vigilant to stay active and proactive in in our marriage find those

traditions as ways of connecting the ways of connecting to God and Like Muhammad was talking about keep keep the faith hang in there until next time remember to live life on purpose.

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